Fatherhood in the End of History

This is why men should be allowed parental leave that extends beyond 3 days! It feels right, natural, noble, to wake up with your family, to play with your son, manage everything calmly, serenely.

            Why are we always forced to go and do things we don’t want to?

            The fact I’m even asking that question shows how spoiled humanity has become.

            Humanity’s final revolution will be a revolution against nature itself.

            This morning I fed you at 6.30. Afterwards, you stayed up, alert, your eyes taking in your new universe – and yes, our bedroom is your cosmos right now. Growing up is just a matter of extending your cosmos.

            You make so many noises when you’re happily awake. Baby noises, cooing and sometimes meowing like a cat. After you sneeze you do a quick little happy giggle. We took you into your nursery, the room that will one day be yours, and lay you down in your baby gym.

            Your mother and I sat on our knees, Japanese-style, and watched your wandering eyes, played with your hands, legs, put your musical bear beside you and awed at you, like a living painting, a masterpiece of our own visceral making.

            Why can’t all my days be like this? Your mother’s too. Sure she gets to stay home, but if I were around, things would be so much easier for her. She could get to be a mother rather than a housewife. It’s not the 1950’s! But it’s not the future, either.

            I would never expect or demand equal paternity leave for a fathers and mothers. I’m not blind. There is a difference between genders. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. I’ve seen it first-hand. Childbirth. It was like a Goya scene painted by Monet. Women are designed by nature for childbirth and rearing. Should society design women for childbirth? No.

            And yes. Or at least, society can’t be blind to nature. It would be like trying to get a horse to moo. Of course there is more to women than children. But of course, childbirth takes a far harsher toll on mother than fathers. I shouldn’t even have to say that, should I?

            But just as women are encouraged to rebel against their nature, so are fathers. I don’t want to be what I was designed to be. Just as nature designed women to be mothers, nature designed men to be hunters and, if you’ll excuse my language, serial fuckers.

            I’ll put it more metaphorically. Imagine putting one hundred women on an island and one man. After a year, you could have a hundred babies, right? Now imagine the flipside. Imagine putting one hundred men on one island and one woman. After a year you’d have one baby. Maybe two or three if they happen to be multiples. No more. And I can’t think of a better way to sum up the lake that separates the genders (I wouldn’t call it an ocean).

            Why am I going on about this? A few days ago Malta passed a landmark bill. A landmark in stupidity. Parents are now allowed to wait up to 4 years before registering their child’s gender. Also, a child, or adult, can change his or her ‘designated’ gender later on in life. Gender neutral terms are also becoming part of this legal jargon.

            I’m quoting from the Times of Malta:

            Announcing the proposed changes, parliamentary secretary for civil rights and reforms Rosianne Cutajar said these kinds of amendments allow us to move on from old restrictions that came from a patriarchal society.

            Rosianne Cutajar is our human rights and equality minister. She is the woman in charge of creating problems where none exist; she is our national acupuncturist sticking sharp needles into a healthy, gullible body and proclaiming a cure for a non-existent ill.

            We are well and truly living through the End of History. The great battle of ideologies of the last two hundred years are over. Fascism vs Communism. Liberalism vs Conservatism. Nationalism vs Marxism. Democracy vs Dictatorship. Liberalism and free-market economies have won the day. And although the world is not uniformly democratic and liberal, there is no argument.

            But human beings were not designed for peace. Orwell wrote in 1984: “War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.” War is our lust for peace and peace our lust for war. So people like Rosianne Cutajar are importing the latest societal war, imported of course from America, from its resurgent and annoyingly tech-savvy far-left, seeing the postmodern nobility of protesting human rights, race, gender and sexuality and being envious the Noble War has not made it to our shores and reaches out for the acupuncturist’s needles.

            I’m telling you all this because this Noble War of the acupuncturists will not go away when you’re older. In fact, it will probably worsen. Think about it, it’s the laws of physics acting on civilisation: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. How to best ripen the soil for the far-right? Sow it with the vitriole of the far-left.

            Today’s postmodern, Millennial, Insta-crusaders are turning even a liberal, moderate, socialist man like your father into a neo-conservative. I’m not, and I won’t ever call myself something that feels so allergic to my political bloodstream. It would be like calling myself a Birmingham fan! But I am seeing some merit in keeping society the same. Not because I believe in patriarchy or male superiority or Christian values – but because I believe our society is as near utopia as a society created by apes can ever be! Dostoevsky was right to loathe utopianism. To seek it out is to ask apes to become gods. But look, my son, at the 21st century that nourishes you, look at all your freedoms, your opportunities, the art, the science, yes, even the manners, and be grateful, grateful. It’s not perfect, of course. Strive for betterment, always, but never for perfection. Otherwise, you’ll be an acupuncturist too. You’ll be one of those crying: it’s not enough to have health, you need wellbeing.

            But you’ll have more sense than that.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Hi, not sure if this is your most recent post – wonder if there’s a way to access that easily, when I notice from my reader that you’ve posted. Like the way this one moves from the personal to the political and the philosophical, by the way!


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